"Walk middle, sooner or later, get squish just like grape."

Dear Spammers,

While I’m sensitive to the fact that you are attempting to feed your families and amass HDTVs through odd jobs, such as spamming blogs for Internet companies who want to see links to their sites from every blog available and thereby take over the world, I will not support these practices.

You think, ah, easy money.

However.

Your comments never appear on my blog. All comments must pass through my eyes, and my eyes have an uncanny ability to spot spam without clicking on any links or even clicking on the comment itself. Therefore neither I nor any of my blog readers ever view your comments or click on any links embedded in the post or your identity. (Note on identity: if that is truly your identity, I know a good counselor. Several of them, in fact.)

All this to say, while you may waste a fraction of a second of my time (and not even that for my readers), you waste more of your own time typing the CAPTCHA. I’m savvy to your games, and for your own sake, I request you cease and desist.

Sincerely,

The Boss

*Small print: title from Karate Kid

Chuck

It’s about time.

My husband, who happens to be almost as brilliant as I am, started his own blog.

It’s called "The Intersect, exploring the intersection between ministry and the Internet."

The Intersect, eh? I said. Sounds strangely like my online community, Intersection.

He said Great minds think alike.

Whatever.

Stop on by and tell him I sent you.

Oh, and my husband’s name is not Chuck. It’s Chris. So 50 points to whoever can figure out why I called this post "Chuck."

Free Blogging Lessons

Jen mentioned this and then Randy did again, so I thought I’d see what all the hype’s about. 

I’m evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they’re letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

  • The best blogging techniques.
  • How to get traffic to your blog.
  • How to turn your blog into money.

I’ll let you know what I think once I’ve had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it’s still free.

blog roll

I updated my blog roll. Check and make sure you’re there. If not, I’m sorry I missed you. Let me know!

Welcome, High Calling

HighCallingBlogs.com


It’s official. I’m joining the Higher Calling Blog Network. For those of you following my blog already, no worries. Nothing will change. But you might want to hop on over to their reader and see what the fuss is about. It came from The High Calling zine, which is dedicated to folks who see their job and life as their ministry.

That being said, what does this mean for me? Does this mean I feel these pressures to write dynamic posts that wow the public? Of course. Love me, love me. Throw flowers at the stage. (No, sir, I said flowers, not tomatoes. Please put the tomato down.) Does this mean that I have to cut out the silly and lighthearted? That I can’t tell you that at this very instant I’m writing this post with an English accent (more of a Julie Andrews proper than Jason Statham street)? Higher Calling is about work and God and theology, isn’t it? Does that mean no more stories about my charred dinners?

I don’t believe so, no. It all flows together, now, doesn’t it? My work of teaching piano and flute lessons, writing, and speaking and my life of laughing and crying and the whole bit. (Take it from someone who was found to randomly break out into song and dance – yes, dance too – at the office. Known for it, actually.) It’s all seamless like a fine cloth. I don’t mean that you go to work in your pajamas (unless you telecommute or model for JCPenny’s catalog) or that you chat with your girlfriends on Tuesday night about profit margins. Well, you might. But what I mean is that it is all to glorify God, and it is all infused with loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and loving your neighbor as yourself.

Now, personally, as a writer, I don’t always know where the pen stops and life starts. It’s all one and the same. I see something, such as the Porta Potty company named Oui Oui Enterprises and think, now wouldn’t Marnie laugh at that. Or see a lonely child and wonder how Itzel would love her. My characters inspire me, and sometimes I think, shouldn’t it be the other way around? When I write a post, it’s just preparatory for writing about Marnie, who hasn’t figured out if she’s poking fun at life or if life’s poking fun at her.

So lift a glass with me (Shiraz, coffee, chocolate milk, or otherwise). Here’s to silliness and laughter and tears and burnt dinners and philosophizing and theologizing and to friends, because the friends I’ve made this past year in the blogging world have pleasantly surprised me.

Straight on toward Morning

This past weekend, the fairy dust took me to East Texas, where I taught a women’s retreat. You know, at first, I wasn’t too excited about the topic, the Bride of Christ, but in preparation, I discovered all the love, hope, and unity, not just between the Church (the bride) and Christ, but between members of the Church, and it moved and inspired me. God worked this weekend, as He loves to do when we open up our hearts. For those of you who were praying, thank you.
This Friday, the fairy dust will take me to Chicago and Indiana, first to spend the weekend with fellow Misfits, Michelle, Jen, and Jenny, writing and laughing and then laughing some more, then to spend time with my bestest friend in the world (yes, my BFF), who moved to Chicago back in August. We’ll see Wicked, watch fireworks on the Navy Pier, drink lots of coffee, eats lots of toffee, go to the Art Institute, stay up way too late, drink more coffee, and chat until we lose our voices. All in all, good times, good times.
So don’t expect much from the blogging Heather. She’ll be too hyped on coffee! But I will let you in on this secret: the Misfits are starting a group blog, and we launch next week. If it’s half as fun as the people themselves, you’re in for a riot (not the L.A. type). More on that later.

Barkat's Sick Reflections

I just love using confusing modifiers! Like the large women’s group.
Anyway, I’m here to redirect. I’m all about a good designation, and Barkat’s thoughts words today on Seedlings in Stone are well-worth your visit.

Video Killed the Radio Store

We’re coming up on my one year anniversary. As of June sixth (still haven’t gotten the keyboard fixed and the six key doesn’t work), I will have been blogging for a year (I was going to say the amount of days to mix it up from the previous sentence, but missing numbers make that difficult: who wants to say three hundred and sixty five days?). This anni has got me thinking, is blogging killing the bookstore?
The Guardian blog in the UK did a blurb on the internet and literacy. They conclude that the internet is not indeed killing literacy, and I agree (although I do wonder if it is limiting our verbage). Rather, I wonder if blogging is killing the book. For example, right now, if I weren’t blogging and reading my bloglines and commenting here and there when I have wise words to impart (such as, that made me laugh or the like), I would probably be reading. Perhaps writing, practicing flute or piano, keeping up on my Spanish lessons, which I lost somewhere between Christmas of oh six and next Easter. Perhaps I’d be working on the material for my upcoming speaking engagement. Maybe I’d be running or sitting outside enjoying the day. (Hey, that reminds me, I have a laptop. Be back.)
Okay, now I’m outside enjoying the day in my backyard, where my hubby and I spent some time Sunday afternoon prettying it up.
And Ordinary Mother of Joe, I forgot to get honey at Sam’s yesterday.
So if I weren’t blogging, I’d be doing something else (profound). The question is, would that something else necessarily be more productive. Maybe yes, maybe no. I have friends, both online and that I’ve met in real live life because of the blogging experience. I’ve been exposed (gasp) to new ideas and philosophies and books. On the other hand, I probably should learn to give myself some limits and not neglect the book or the piano or the Spanish (which suffers the most).
So if you weren’t blogging, what would you be doing?

*In 1981 (if memory serves me correctly, it was August), this was the first music video MTV played on its inaugural day. (I don’t know what was next, maybe Madonna?) As we all know, radio and music stores thrive. Video did not indeed kill the radio store. I hope blogging will not kill the bookstore.

Blogging Award

Wow. I feel honored. Three people over the course of two days gave me this award, and I have to admit that the award itself doesn’t mean nearly as much to me as what Gina, Peter, and Robin said (scooch over there and read it for yourself cuz it just makes me feel good besides the fact that I read their blogs everyday cuz I like em).
The participation rules are simple:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme (click on image above),
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote. You can choose silver or gold.
So the people I tag (and I’m going to do my best to not repeat tags):
Erin at They Hang Like Paper Lanterns for her amazing creativity and meditations (and music!)
Jenn at Jennwith2ns because she loves to stretch us on how we are incarnating Christ (which just happens to be my favorite subject)
L.L. Barkat at Seedlings in Stone because she has great questions and even answers to how we can better care for God’s creation.
Christianne at Lilies Have Dreams because she searches for God (and finds Him, knowing its because of His grace).
And (drumroll, please, even though there is no order or rhythm) Michelle at Just a Minute because, as a fellow writer and someone who is very different from me and yet very much the same (explain that one), she just makes me think. Actually, all of my fellow misfits do. Michelle was the first misfit that came into my life, first through blogging, then in the real world (which does exist).
Wshoo. Narrowing down was stressful!

Choose an Identity

Every time I leave a comment on blogger, I see those three words. Choose an identity. It reminds me of those Choose Your Own Adventure Books. I loved those.
But this is sad, really. And telling.
We have a nation of painted teeth and sucked out yucky fat. We put on new facades, playing dress-up like little girls in heels five sizes too big, living in a world where every day is Halloween. We spend more time sprucing up our cyber life than we do our real live character. Virtual reality. That’s an oxymoron.
I can buy and sell and borrow (and steal) without ever stepping foot out of my house. I can actually live my entire life without ever brushing elbows with someone.
And if you don’t like who you are, just create an alternate identity. Don’t worry about the hard work of transforming character. Just make someone up. You can live your entire life in cyber space. There’s even this civilization now (someone help with the name, please) where everything is online. Even your money.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love blogging. I love the friends I have that I would have never had without this phenomenon. We can choose to be real and authentic in this world. We can choose to make it only part of our world, to have a life outside of the computer, in that thing called nature or a symphony concert. Or we can choose to escape it all.
Choose an identity.
A nation of schizos.