Blank canvas syndrome.
We all experience it. Okay, not all, but we don’t like the people who don’t. We talk about them behind their back.
Everyone tells you to put butt in chair and write anyway. Anne Lamott looks at her one-inch picture frame for inspiration.
I have no such words of wisdom.
Even
now, I look at my blank canvas. It’s not exactly blank, now, is it? On
my Internet browser, I have buttons at the top, favorites listed down
the side, options on the post for pictures or video or using odd fonts
and colors. Plenty to work with. I even have words now.
Not very good ones, granted, but words all the same.
I
can pull out my Nancy Drew pad and look at notes I’ve jotted
down–character ideas, setting sketches, plot ideas, post thoughts
(meaning for the blog, not after). Or I have a document titled,
"Working To Do," a whole list of could-be posts, things like writing
for publication v. writing for self (the pros and cons of each–and
maybe next week we’ll discuss just that) or how music affects my
writing. Intelligent stuff on art and relationships and theology and
culture. I could look up random words on Merriam-Webster to astound you
with terms such as, "prognosticate" and "object trouve" (except the e
should have that accent grave or whatever it’s called–I don’t think I
have the option on blogger).
I don’t wanna.
It’s not that I don’t
want to write. I know what I want to accomplish today. I have ideas for
my WIP. But even with my ideas and desire, I don’t wanna.
I know, it doesn’t make sense.
How can someone have ideas and BCS at the same time?
I don’t know. I just do.
Maybe
it’s akin to the
I-sometimes-sleep-with-the-light-on-because-I’m-afraid-of-monsters-that-I-know-don’t-exist
phenomenon. (Wshoo. Those hypens wore me out.) Maybe it’s similar to
picking up a book and escaping mere feet away from the shower that
grows mold as you watch, using the laundry that needs to be folded as a
pallet and pillow.
Call it laziness or procrastination. I don’t care what you call it. I just don’t wanna.
And
if you’ll excuse me now, my parents are on their way to come visit, and
I have Skip-Bo cards to ready for our traditional game.