What I Did on My Summer Vacation

A short essay to my fourth-grade teacher about what I did on my summer vacation*:

This summer, we went to Long Island (population 3,000), an out island in the Bahamas. We discovered many beautiful and sacluded sicluded empty beaches. Sometimes we would play on the beach without seeing anybody! We spent most of our time at Dean’s Blue Hole, a sink hole that dips 633 feet a couple of meters off the beach. The man who holds the world record for the deepest free dive achieved that here.

Dean's Blue Hole

Here are some things I did at Long Island:

  • ate fish I caught (namely tuna, grunt, and bonita)

    Yes, that’s fish blood on my shoulder. I wore that sucker’s blood on my ankles, legs, and shirt. I am conqueror!

  • played hide-and-go-seek with pilot, parrot, tang, yellowtail, trigger, and other random assortment of fish
  • made friends with one particular fish–Danny–who liked to swim circles around me when I was still and tucked himself under me when I swam (if you’re reading this, Danny–hi!)
  • saw fish fly (also fish fry, but we covered that)
  • survived an incident with the reptile that shall not be named (hint: it tempted Adam and Eve and God foretold that there would be animosity between it and women forever; my fears are biblical)
  • tasted the best mango in the world (delivered to us by some locals from their trees on almost a daily basis; if you’re ever in Long Island, I recommend the kidney mangoes)
  • encountered several barracuda and lived to sing about it (All that night and all the next / Swam without looking back)

Here I am, relaxing nonchalantly on my raft above the blue hole (you can see by the color change where it drops off into never-never land). Notice the barracuda (which I conveniently circled for you) about five feet from me. This was not the scary encounter because (1) I did not know at the time that he swam nearby (my husband neglected to mention it to me while he photographed us) and (2) I was out of the water–not snorkeling mere feet from him.

  • read several books on my Kindle since the Calvin Festival (can I say how much I love Niall, my Kindle? I didn’t have to cart tons–and when I say “tons,” I almost mean it literally–of books; watch Shelfari for upcoming reviews of my favorites)

We had lots of fun, and I can’t wait to go back. And that’s what I did on my summer vacation.

*I wonder what Ms. Harle is doing these days?

And Singing "It's A Small World" 3,298 Times

Here’s the thing. I want to hate Disney–all the commercialization and the take-over-the-world-ization. (Seriously, just because it’s a Disney movie doesn’t mean it should be a Broadway musical. The world didn’t need Lion King on stage.)

But I can’t help myself. I loved it. I love what it does for families. So, in no particular order, here are my top 10 favorite things about Disney:

8. The bathrooms–you can’t sneeze without hitting one, which is great when there with your nine-year-old niece. Who am I kidding? It was great for the nine-year-old’s aunt and grandmother.

4. Getting to be a princess and a pirate in one day.

That’s my "arrgh, matey!" face. Scary?

7. Fireworks and parades–come rain or shine, let’s go! On with the show.

2. Imagination–it goes wild in a place like Disney. In one day, you can snack pastries from France, go into the future, travel on a safari, and fly with Peter Pan. Anything is possible.

10. Making my family nauseas on the teacups. Come on–who doesn’t love to get dizzy? If someone doesn’t vomit, if anyone’s walking in a straight line after the ride, I haven’t done my job well.

5. The Phillies paraphernalia–it was everywhere! Love it. Guess when you’re the reigning world champs, you go to Disney World.

9. Crowd control–Disney knows how to keep large amounts of people happy and moving. We didn’t have to wait in terrible lines (and kept moving even when they were long), and Disney provides misters (as in water spraying, not men) and plenty of air conditioned buildings. Good job, Walt!

3. Unity–you may have come in a mini-van, Harley, suped-up Cadillac, Pinto, Smart car, Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang or flying carpet. You may wear wife-beaters, Polo shirts, pants buckled around your knees, rings lining your ears, eyebrows and nose,  Princess dresses, emo, or fanny-pack. It doesn’t matter. You love Disney. It is a small world, after all, you know.

6. Touring eleven countries in less than two days. Beat that, Jules Verne!

And my number one, favorite thing about Disney . . .

1. Breaking out into song and dance in the middle of the street. 


(I should note that I wasn’t invited to join these singers, but hey, when you know the song, you know the song!) 

 

(Also note that I didn’t wear the same thing every day. It just so happens that all the photos I picked to share with you were taken on the same day.)

Psst–If you find this post interesting and think others might as well, would you mind taking a minute to stumble it? It would mean a lot to me.

Pristne Stanice…

It’s good to be in a land where people get you. You guys know what I mean? They understand why you crave the foods you crave or want to be the places where you want to be. They understand why you need to be by water.

Water people. That’s who we are.

Note to those who don’t live in Philly or South Jersey: that’s pronounced wooter people.

That’s another thing. They understand you. Period. They understand when you ask for a glass of wooter or when you say "Coke," you mean the brand, not any soda. Of course, why would you drink Coke when you could have Birch Beer (Pennsylvania Dutch, please).

After a few days with family, a day in Philly, and two days at the beach–well, a day and a half–I’m feeling home. I’ve had revelations (don’t ask me what now–I’m hungry and craving good Italian). I’ve researched for my next book. And I’m home.

Pictures and videos to follow at some point.

Next stop, the healing powers of the ocean… 

Wild, Blue Yonder

Well, folks, I’m off to the beautiful (eh-hem) waters of Galveston for a few days to spend some time with Chris’ family. (Chris is going as well.) I’m not sure if I’ll have wi-fi or not (gasp! four days without my blogging buddies!). So I’ll leave you for this oh-so-blue photo for Anna Carson’s Project Blue.

Okay, so technically, Chris took the picture when he was in Africa, but I thought it was a cool shot, and since we’re one an all, and considering that fact that I actually update my blog, I thought I’d claim some sort of license. Marriage license, perhaps?

Everything I Need to Know I Learned on a Ship

"Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a
damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarly
pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every
funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand
of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from
deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking
people’s hats off–then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon
as I can." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick)

All that relaxation undone in a single hour.

Yes, I spent an hour trying to upload a post about everything I learned on the cruise. Erased in a single minute.

I hate technology. Back to the ship I go.

Second try:

  1. Don’t shift in your seat during an art auction. When the auctioneer has pounded his gavel and lifted it to you, you may discover that you’ve become the proud owner of a new piece of art. You think I’m kidding. Good thing I like the piece. In fact, we liked it so much that we bought two more that we like even better.
  2. A cruise ship is the most international place in the world. You will be served by every nation and every tongue.
  3. The gentle rocking of the ship cures insomnia.
  4. The odd mixture of people cures writer’s block.
  5. You can and will eat unceasingly. If not for the huge size of the boat, which required a lot of walking, and the excursions, I would now weigh approximately 478 lbs.
  6. It’s the most sociable place in the world. I have no less than 213 new bffs.
  7. Your feet can and will burn. Get that SPF 50 all the way down to your toes.
  8. Take bugspray. The Jamaican bug’ll get you. Seriously. I don’t know what those things are, but they’re itchy!


    (Who is that random guy behind us?)
  9. You won’t read as much as you think you will, partly due to the 3,289,492 (to be exact) activities on the ship, and partly due to the hypnosis of the ocean "blending cadence of waves and thoughts" as Melville puts it.
  10. The ocean is, in fact, that blue. It looks like gallons of azure dye were dumped into the water.


Searching for Moby Dick–ahoy, mateys!



My An Affair to Remember–isn’t he handsome?


Discovering the Black Pearl–arrgh!


Sail ho! Bear down on the chase, me hearties. No quarter when we gain on ‘er. (Translation: I see a ship! Get the ship we’re after, crew. No surrender will be accepted.)

Whales and Pirates

Next week, Chris and I will be on a cruise–my first ever.

Here’s what I’m excited about:

  1. Drifting on the ocean without a care in the world
  2. Seeing the sunset (and perhaps even a sunrise) without anything in the way
  3. Reading Moby Dick on the sea
  4. Pretending to be a pirate (while reading about them–I like to read thematically; in past years on the beach I’ve read Old Man and the Sea and Life of Pi; I’ve read Jan Huss and Jan Neruda, although not Kafka, in Czech–the country, not the language; I studied Cervantes in Spain).
  5. Putting my toes in the sand at the stops
  6. No cell phones
  7. Visiting water falls, rainforests, and stingrays
  8. Being Deborah Kerr with her elegant dresses (and maybe drinking a glass of pink champagne even though it’s not my favorite)–I have to say that my husband is even sexier than Cary Grant, and that’s saying a lot.
  9. Meeting interesting people from exotic lands who will no doubt find themselves in a book someday
  10. Seeing God’s beauty in a way I’ve never seen before

When I come back, I’ll carry on my story of the Transposing Culture symposium. Also, if you live in the Dallas area, Mary DeMuth will be joining our book club on Monday, April 21st to discuss her book, Watching the Tree Limbs. We meet at Christ Church Plano at 7:30 p.m.

California Beaches

I love California. I was born to live in California. Too bad I don’t live there now. My husband tells me that if we were to move there, it would be to a cardboard shack. I’m okay with that. When you have the ocean and mountains, what else matters? After a weekend wedding, we spent a couple of days with family on a mini vacation.
Drive up the Pacific Coast Highway with me for a moment. The ocean is on the left in constant motion, crashing and thrashing with dangerous and life-giving vitality. The mist plays peek-a-boo with ships, oil rigs, and islands. The mountains, crumpled up like a blanket on an unmade bed, are on the right. They loom with ancient wisdom but also threaten skittish rock slides at times. They protect like a stalwart from the world on the other side like that wizened and wrinkled grandfather whom you fear but also protrects his family. Surfers speckle the water and Malibu Barbie houses line the shore. Surprisingly, none of the beaches are crowded, even on a labor day weekend. I guess when you have hundreds of miles bordering the long side of a state, there is plenty of sand to go round. We pass organic markets and flower shops and furniture flea markets on the other side. Peak up the streets leading up to mountain villas to get a glimpse of the lives of princes and princesses in their castles. A carnival pops up in the middle of nowhere (where all carnivals pop up) with bright kid colors of teal, cotton candy, and sunshine.
Come now with me to Venice Beach. Shops of flowy clothes, Henna tattoos, piercings of all body parts, and T-shirts run up and down the walk way. Musicians in dreadlocks play, a break dancer with a drug recovery story gathers a crowd, and homeless people wander with their suitcases and shopping carts full of cans and bottles. A large umbrella sits against the grass advertising “Slum Art Skool” with a childlike drawing (and a promise of better quality drawings for donations). We cross over the grass onto the sand, run toward the water until our breaths can’t capture enough oxygen to keep our legs pumping against the sand. To our right, mountains float on the water. To our left, waves crash against the rock jetty. Only a few people are scattered on the sand. Tears build up in our eyes rolling up like the waves in front of us. The ocean expands further than we can imagine, seemingly untouched by the craziness and panics of human existence. The bums and the store owners and the hippie wannabees and the druggies and the tourists disappear behind us. Salt water washes up to our ankles, and our feet sink deeper in the sand. It’s just us and the ocean.

Tribute to Katie and Taylor

And perhaps a bit of a diatribe to my now least favorite airline.
My sister, Cheryl, my niece, Taylor, and I were on our way home from New Jersey. We had a great vacation, but it was time to go home. We walked into the airport to discover that our flight was thus far delayed an hour and a half. Apparently the Philadelphia airport shuts down with the first sign of rain. We would miss our connecting flight to Atlanta! I spoke with the supervisor at the ticketing window.
“There’s a possibility your connecting flight will also be delayed, and you will make it,” she said.
“And if not?” I ask.
“Then we’ll put you out on the first flight to Dallas in the morning.”
“Will you also put us up in a hotel tonight?”
“No.”
“But we have a 6 year old.”
“Sorry.” This was the beginning of the conversation. Many others joined. There were 11 of us trying to make that very connecting flight. Finally, we took our boarding passes and went to sit at the gate.
At the gate there were two counters. One counter had a very long line. The other counter had no line. I soon found out why. I went up to the lady with no customers.
“We have a connecting flight to catch in Atlanta. Can you tell me the status of that flight as of now?”
“It’s on time. You’ll miss it.”
“Okay, then we need to look at other options.”
Her fingers rattled on the keyboard. “All flights out of Philly and Atlanta are booked all day tomorrow.”
“Can you put us on another airline, then, like American or Delta?”
“No.” She was very succinct and very uncaring about our predicament. My blood was boiling.
“I paid for Air Tran to get me to Dallas. How are you planning on getting me to Dallas?”
“Lady,” she replied with a rising voice to match mine, “If I had a plane, I would drive it myself to get you all home, but I don’t now, do I?” I restrained from hitting her. Instead, I asked her name to report her to customer service (she probably gave me a fake name, which didn’t matter because I had no intention of following through) and left mumbling things that weren’t so loving toward this particular neighbor. I stood in the long line. To make a long story short, we were helped by the only two helpful employees of Air Tran to get on the 6:00 flight to Atlanta, which had been delayed until 8:00. We boarded this flight at 8:30, taxied for an hour, then finally took off for another state.
My next-door neighbor for the flight took her seat with a smile and laughter. Oh no, I seethed, She’s one of those happy Christians who takes everything in stride. I can just tell these things. Sure enough, a couple minutes later, she pulls out her Bible. Ach, I hate conviction. I should be the one extending peace to frustrated employees and boarders alike. I finally convince myself that I need to introduce myself to this sister in Christ. Her name is Katie. She’s a fairly young believer – became a Christian one and a half years ago. She laughed about God being in control while I held back my earlier free-flowing tears about not getting to see my husband that night as I had hoped. In my defense, she did not have a connecting flight to catch. Of course, this did make a mess of her plans to get home.
We chatted about how God uses people against their will, about sometimes having to share the nitty-gritty dirty details that shame us but shine God. We connected. We ended with a prayer. This is a tribute to Katie, who trusted God when the weather and the airlines made a mess of plans.
We landed through lightening and turbulence. At this point, I told God He didn’t have to get us to Dallas that night if He would just let us land alive. He one-upped me. I smiled at Katie, grabbed Taylor’s hand, and Cheryl, Taylor, and I were off, hoping that our 11:10 flight was delayed. It was 11:25.
We deboarded in terminal C. Our connecting flight to Dallas was in terminal D. We ran to the end of C, down the escalators, and jumped just in time on to the subway to terminal D.
I must pause to let you know that Taylor has been a perfect angel since we stepped foot into the Philly airport. She had the sleepy telltale signs of dark circles under her eyes, but she quietly stayed near us and obeyed without any crankiness.
Back on the subway, we decided that Cheryl, along with a couple of others trying to reach the flight, would run ahead while I followed with Taylor. An airport employee told us that D1 was at the end of the terminal. Of course. I gave Cheryl the tickets as we stepped off the metro. Taylor followed Cheryl, running up the escalator, keeping up with every stride. But near the top, she fell, hitting her knee. Now, I know the difference between many of Taylor’s cries, and I knew this one to be “I am seriously hurt.” I’m guessing that this hit the bone in such a way that not only created deep pain but also a temporary paralysis. The top of the escalator was leering, so I pulled Taylor up in my arms to keep fingers from being eaten.
“Taylor, honey, I know it hurts, but I need you to be strong for just a couple of minutes, and then we can cry on the plane.” I put her on my back, held my bulky laptop bag in one hand (I don’t have a shoulder strap for it), and my purse, half-tangled with Taylor’s foot, in my other hand and hoped for the five-year-old-lifts-family-station-wagon-to-free-crushed-mother adrenaline rush. Not so much. The airport employee (note that he was not an Air Tran employee) ran ahead to let Cheryl know what had happened and then to try to catch the plane for us. Meanwhile, the medicine for my head cold was wearing off, so my head and lungs were quickly filling up. The only thing I could hear out of my right ear was the fluid swishing. I ran as fast as I could until I thought my lungs were going to collapse. I put Taylor down and asked her if she could be strong for just a little bit longer. She pulled her jeans over her knee to inspect the damage, folded them back down, and then took off, her legs working like spinning bicycle wheels. She ran like the son on the Incredibles. The crowd separated, staring in awe at Flash Taylor. I grabbed my bags and ran after her. The airport employee was running back, “They are boarding in two minutes!” How beautiful are the feet of he who brings good news! A couple of seconds later, Taylor and I met Cheryl at the gate, and we all began to breathlessly commiserate with our fellow plane-mates and vow to never board Air Tran again. I told Taylor she deserved the Purple Heart and the Metal of Bravery. This is a tribute to Taylor, whose brave strength and quiet acceptance got us to the plane on time.

Ocean City, NJ

I took my niece, Taylor, down to the beach this morning while my sister pursued coffee grounds from Wawa and my parents enjoyed some peace back at the house. The waves threw their temper tantrums, running from naptime, grabbing at the shore, until Mother Ocean gathered them back into bed. Taylor said the waves were caused by big rollers like pickles. We jumped over each wave, knowing that missing one would be detrimental – or even fatal – somehow. Taylor dipper her bucket into the water, pulling up microscopic fish frantically swimming between their new walls and below them three sandcrabs, one only a baby, pushing through the small bit of sand that had rested on the bottom of the green pail.
I sat back in the low chair, digging my toes into the sand, and people-watched. There were three high school boys practicing moves from “Evolution of the Dance,” which, apparently, is a nationwide phenomenon. Children dig shortcuts to China and crafted castles. People everywhere live the slowed-down life, half-heartedly reading their books as their eyes droop in the lazy hazy days of summer, chatting, laughing, dads constructing fortresses with their kids, mothers pulling out sandwiches and chips and fruit and drinks and yogurts from deceptively small Mary Poppins coolers. A dozen wind-surfers dance on the surface of the water, flipping sometimes ten feet above as they grab the edges of their wakeboard. I hear the bell announcing the arrival of the ice cream truck, laden with Italian water ice, gelato, and ice cream sandwiches. Little boys and girls begin tugging on their parents’ bathing suit covers with wide eyes and upturned suddenly angelic faces. The dads give in with an unwilling “All-right” and return with their own cone. Seagulls squawk above, dipping low as they search for crumbs from the picnics, lost mollusks, and daring fish venturing into the surface of the high tide.

It’s a chilly day, so I abandon my chair to press the towel against the sand. The wind isn’t as fierce when I hug my body flat to the ground. I twist my earpieces into their proper orifice to hear my ipod sing Jimmy Buffet, Jack Johnson, and Lenny Kravitz. And I slow down.

Anniversary Trip

Sanibel
we just got back last night from our anniversary trip to the sunny state of florida. we had spent two days in georgia (on my mind) to see chris’ brother graduate from infantry training (aka boot camp), then off to my surprise trip. we stepped out of the small but cheerful terminal at ft. myers and filled our lungs with salt air, breathing in the life of the sea. (i do have pirate in my ancestry, and sometimes his blood begins to burn with impatience in my veins to return to his ship.) chris took me to the southern tip to see my college roommate (who is swollen with five months of pregnancy). we spent two days laughing and chatting with them (and eating the best food that has ever touched my tongue – sushi grade fish that melts in the proverbial mouth, wasabi potatoes – a side dish i plan on adding to my standard meals, Bailey’s ice cream slabbed next to mayan chocolate ice cream, which is dark chocolate with a touch of cinnamon), then went to a tiny island to spend three nights there, just the two of us. we had a great time. the island is half nature preserve and half retired preserves. you can tell the island is catered toward wealth, old people, and the occasional rookie tourist. the grocery store (i believe the only grocery store on the island) has underground parking – after your shopping is complete, they send your groceries down in a bin where you meet the valet guy with your car so that he can load up your canned goods and fresh pineapple while you wait. the island has one thoroughfare to take you from one end to the next. the speed limit on said thoroughfare is 35. most people go 30. not exactly in the germanic efficient rush in which we "thrive." stop signs dot the road every few feet so that you rarely have to pull onto the street without everyone stopping. we didn’t see one wreck.
we saw an alligator hiding in shallow river in the shade with his eyes (which, we learned, see the world with a binocular effect) peeping over the water, dolphins in the wild while on a sunset cruise, and the roseate spoonbill bird (apparently a rarity – it looks like a flamingo except its pink is not due to pigmented dye from shrimp as is the flamingo’s, which i didn’t know, but is natural, and it’s long beak finishes in a cupped spoon where nerves let the bird know if it has caught crustaceans, fish, or unwanted matter). we became semi-professional birdwatchers while on the trip, learning about the ospray (apparently distantly related to the hawk; ospray female/male couples remain bonded for life but only see each other for 6 months of the year, returning year after year not only to each other but also to the same pole or tree; they kick out their juveniles when the time is ripe by taking his food to a distant tree), the aforementioned spoonbill, the little blue and tricolor herrons, the ibis (adopted by Univ of Miami as the mascot because these birds are the last to leave before a hurricane and the first to return), and, of course, the pelican. we saw a young red-shouldered hawk trying out her wings, cringing when we thought she would fall off the tree rather than soar (or rather wobble) to the next tree. we can now identify three different types of mangroves after maneuvering through miles of them in canoe (they grew in island-resembling patches, but they actually were growing directly from the water, or rather, the earth beneath the shallow ocean without any above-tide land). we can tell you exactly from where the delicacy, hearts of palm, come. we can tell you why the raccoon stumbles across the road in september (he is drunk from the overripe local growing grapes). we experienced the sunrise and the sunset of the island – the latter from blind pass on the northwest corner of the island with the von trapp family congo players soundtracking the sunset scene, and the former with sleep still in our eyes in front of the beach’s lighthouse on the southeast tip. we found the big dipper as we sat on the sand in the evening with the moonlight casting playful shadows on the water. we baked in the sun and tasted salt water on our lips. of course, we got a bit burnt, but now glow with a healthy tan! we discovered a jazz group at ellington’s restaurant with musicians that got skills wailing on the trumpet (incidentally, the trumpet player was the lead trumpet for harry connick for 11 years), jamming on the piano, the bass, the drums, and on some nights, the tenor sax to standards in the way of miles, parker, and dizzie, singing sinatra, the duke, and other flashbacks. i tried the key lime pie, the key lime martini, and the key lime vinagraitte on the tomato and avocado salad. we feasted on grouper and ahi tuna and johnny’s pizza on the beach. oh, and we filled our bellies with ice cream (fat, calories, and even partially hydrogenated oils don’t count on vacation.)
apparently, sanibel island is famous for shelling. scores of whole shells lined the beach, conches, whelks, clam shells, so of course, we learned about the different mollusks, their eating, sleeping, burrowing, camouflaging, preying, housing habits at the shell museum (which harbors a collection donated by the perry mason actor, cursiously enough). chris even found a live olive mollusk in the ocean (and conversely donated his wedding ring to the Titan god).
we spent time praying and reading our bible on the beach and on the veranda of our rented room, feeling god’s presence in the swishing of the palm trees, the gurgling and lapping of the gulf and in our intertwined hands.
we met a family from New Orleans, who shared how the church has saved people and homes from the wreckage. Tommy, the son, then donated some of his own shell findings to our salt-water tank for our fish, ralph, george, and jeremiah, to enjoy. we met a police officer from knotting hill and his family, recovering from their excursion to see the famous mouse in orlando (the officer had a striking resemblance to vin deisel). we met a couple with 55 years of marriage under their belt and a word of wisdom to this younger couple ("you put up with a lot of shit," said the greek wife with a smile).all in all, a happy, relaxing vacation.