Empire-Building and Homemaking

Fine print: This post inspired by Sandi Glahn’s recent post, Gender Difference: Lose the Boxes. Also, I’m currently on my way to Calvin’s Festival of Faith and Writing!

A few years ago, I was lamenting my struggles with my writing, work, and fulfillment. A friend commented, “Sometimes you sound more like a man.”

I say this to my shame: I took pride in that comment.

I grew up with dreams of becoming First Woman President!, or a lawyer, or a flutist in a major symphony, or a concert pianist, or a professor.

I grew up discussing theology at the adult’s table. My dad challenged me to think and participate. While we discussed gender issues, there was no woman’s theology or man’s theology.

I grew up thinking all of this compatible with marrying and having children or remaining single (though I assumed the former). (Also, on a mission trip where we bestowed awards on each other for fun, my travel mates awarded me “Most Feminine,” and I’m still trying to figure out what that means.)

Then one day someone told me that men dream of careers and women dream of families, that men struggle to find their identities in work and women in relationships.

Oh.

If that’s the case, I thought, I’d rather be like a man because to find identity in relationship seemed like weakness to me. (I neglected to consider how identity in work is also weakness.) I wanted to leave a legacy, and I wanted to do so through music (or books or students or, at one distant time, law).

When I got married, I made the decision to forgo my latest dream–to plant churches in Italy. I was all dressed up in a Masters of Theology and nowhere to go.

Until I found a new dream–writing (rediscovered a very old dream, is more accurate, but that’s neither here nor there). This, like other dreams, did not pan out how I imagined it would. I wanted to have a book published before starting a family (you may notice I have a son and no published novel). I wanted to make my mark, change the world, connect with people (preferably lots of them).

These days, I don’t know what my writing dreams are anymore. I know that I write and will continue to write, and that, for now, I write short stories that I stubbornly send to journals whether they like it or not. These days, I strive to be a homemaker not because I suddenly love house and home and all things domestic but because I see homemaking as a way of being hospitable, a value Jesus holds and models for all Christians, men and women. (Side note: I don’t believe homemaking a necessary trait of hospitality. Jesus was homeless yet practiced hospitality. Chris and I practice hospitality in part through inviting others to fellowship in our home.) These days, I also love knitting and (mostly vegetable) gardening, and also, we’re in the market for a minivan, so maybe I am becoming the suburban mom as I once feared.

Whether empire-building (a term from Sandi’s amazing post, see above) or homemaking or–dare I say it–both, I cannot do either in order to find my identity or define myself or my gender. And I must do both in service to God. Ay, there’s the rub, because I have a tendency to do all things not unto Christ but unto myself, so that others may look at me and marvel (in a good way preferably).

What does this mean for my womanhood and femininity? Thankfully, God created men and women in his image, men and women who think theologically, who serve God in career, family, church, neighborhood, who use their unique mixes of gifts to welcome all into fellowship with God and each other. Maybe I don’t have to figure out what it means to be feminine, what it means that I enjoy watching sports more than my husband (except for basketball) but that I do so while knitting, what it means that I hate heels (or shoes in general) but that I prefer long, flowy skirts to jeans (also, I can never be sure what matches and what’s in style), what it means that I’ve often burnt dinner because I was writing or reading or that my husband is a better cook than I am (and a better-looking cook) or that I can’t seem to figure out how to organize all the necessary components for a trip while all the women in my life can pack a family for a week in one carry-on, remember the sunscreen and look good. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe I can just be me and let the rest of the world figure it out.

In the meantime, I’m going to settle down with a good book.

Tapestry: Loosing the Tongues of Women

I posted a blog article today on the Tapestry Blog about the difficult passage in 1 Corinthians about women being silent. A friend of my mine showed me something in the Greek (yes, we go Greek, but only for a moment). "If this is right," he said, "The church owes women an apology."

Read more.

Tapestry: A Christian Women's Collective

It’s live! That’s right, after months of prayer, discussions, details (a lot of details–from whence come all the details?), it’s live–a group blog: Tapestry: A Christian Women’s Collective.

Tapestry is a conversation for all women in all ministries. It brings together leading writers, speakers, and thinkers to dialogue
theologically, biblically, and culturally with women in ministry about
the issues these individual women face and the broader issues of the
culture in which these women minister.

For more information on the whys and wherefores, go here. To learn more about the authors, go here.

Amy Beach

Today we’ll finally begin to look at ministry to women, specifically Bible studies.

But first, a word from our sponsor: Amy Beach (1867-1944). Amy began taking piano at age four, and by thirteen was a published composer (yeah, one of those child prodigies–funny, you don’t hear about child prodigies as often in women as you do in men). She spent her early life focusing on performance but at eighteen shifted to composition. She composed over 150 works, many of which were performed by high-profile organizations. Her style was marked by lyricism, intensity, and passion.

So ends today’s history lesson.

Bible studies. There are a number of good ones geared for women out there, including, but not limited to Kay Arthur (Precept Ministries), Beth Moore (Living Proof Ministries), Priscilla Shirer, BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). (I’m not including Sandi Glahn’s studies in this list because I don’t think they’re specifically written for women, although numerous women’s groups do them.) Bible.org also has a women’s focus on their site. I’d like to point out that all of these were began by and for women, most have expanded to groups that include women, men, and children.

So let’s talk about training and gender issues.

The question is, does Bible training need to be done gender-specific? Is the Christian life different for men and women? I’d like to point out that I know of no women’s Bible study that believes that the Bible or theology is different for men than women. I think the question relates to two different issues: (1) Does femininity affect learning style (in other words, do women learn differently than men)? and (2) Is the essence of the sin struggle different for men than women?

Historically, women’s ministry is young. I’m not talking about the natural mentoring that happens between mother and daughter or other such things. Mentoring relationships have always been around, both gender-inclusive and gender-exclusive. I mean an intentional pursuit of Bible study and events done by women for women. I don’t know why it began. I suspect that women wanted more Bible knowledge and training than what they are able to get in church. 

That makes me wonder: why? If women are not excluded from sermons and Sunday schools, why did they feel like they were getting less training than the men? It seems to me that men’s ministry is rarer and later than women’s ministry, but perhaps I’m wrong.  If you have any theories about this, I’d love to hear it.

Fundamental, I think, to this is your definition/understanding of femininity. Anciliary to this is your stance on the role of women in the church. A quick note regarding the women: there is not simply "complementarian" and "egalitarian." There is a spectrum. Two people who consider themselves complementarian may have different reasons for believing it and may have different boundaries. For example, one complementarian position states that men and women were created equal but with different roles. Another believes that we were created egalitarian but as an effect of the Fall (namely related to the struggle for power), hierarchy is needed. In this view, at the resurrection, men and women will be egalitarian again. The same goes with the egalitarian view. One more quick note: you can be complementarian and believe that women can preach–yes, even preach a sermon on a Sunday morning–to men and women. This is a more moderate complementarian view that sees this woman preaching as under the authority of male leadership (i.e. the senior pastor, the elders). Likewise, you can be egalitarian and at times think a male is more suited for a specific role.

Regarding femininity, I’d like to talk about epistemology (how we learn) within femininity. In other words, do you think that women fundamentally learn differently than men?

Honestly, there are several answers to this, I think. Some of it is the superficial area of illustrations. Typically, sports and war illustrations are used to reach men. Crafts and chick flicks are used for women. And then there are some that I don’t know where they’d fit: career, child-rearing. There are some problems with this: different women enjoy different things. Not all women like crafts. Not all like chick flicks. Some like sports and war illustrations. Hear me: I’m not saying what women should and shouldn’t like (for example, I enjoy watching sports and movies like Braveheart and I’ve taken up knitting). I’m not saying that we should then just say, to heck with it, let’s focus on the sports and war illustrations. There are a number of people, men and women, who don’t resonate with those, and so with the interest of connecting with all people, we should have a number of illustrations. It sounds like I’m talking in circles here, but really, all I’m asking is can and should illustrations be gender-specific?

Then there’s the question of learning style. I learn differently than my husband does, but is that because I’m female and he’s male or is that because I’m right-brained and he’s left-brained? Is it because of the belief that women are more holistic thinkers while men compartmentalize? (I say "belief" meaning that there is some scientific data saying women have more synapses connecting left and right brains than men do, but I also know of women who compartmentalize and men who easily flow between right- and left- brained functions and thinking.)

In the interest of keeping this post from lasting until the cows come home (and considering the fact that we don’t have cows, that could be a long time), I’ll save the rest of my thoughts on learning styles and Bible studies for Monday. For now, I’d love to hear what you guys enjoy from women’s Bible studies (those of you that do them) and what you wish they did more of.

Ruth Crawford Seeger

In honor of Women’s History Month, for this series of women in ministry and ministering to women (which is broader than women’s ministry), I’m titling each one with important women in history.

Because of my music background, I’m prophesying that most will be musicians. But who knows?

Ruth Crawford Seeger was a composer in the twenties and thirties. She wrote atonal music influenced by composers Alexander Scriabin and Charles Seeger (who became her husband) and folk music. RCS was the first woman to receive the Guggenheim Fellowship.

Back to our discussion about ministering to women, although we have yet to talk about women specifically, and I have a feeling we won’t get to that until tomorrow. Yesterday, I brought up the issue of the purpose of the church, and, more specifically, your local church because any ministry to women should fit within that. I believe, as you can see in the Transforming Culture supercategory above, that the church’s function (within the purpose of glorifying God and showing His love to the world) is to transform culture spiritually and physically. (This includes areas such as social justice, arts, and science.) I believe that evangelism is bringing people into meaningful relationship with God, and this relationship affects the spiritual and physical realms. The church, then, functions to transform believers and, with these transformed believers, actively participate in the world (you can see my fire and coal illustration in the Transforming Culture category). Let me point out that I don’t think this is a two-step process. I don’t think you first transform believers and then you participate in the world. I think these two things go hand in hand. Jesus didn’t remove his disciples from the world to train them and then take them out. He trained them as he went out. In fact, the training was in the going out and in the conversations that his actions spurred. In the same way, I believe the church goes out and ministers/heals/feeds/preaches/touches and in the process also has conversations through Scripture about why and how and who and all that jazz.

Side notes: (1) this being a blog and me being an external processor, I’m working through these things. I have been for years and years. In fact, I wonder–do you ever get to a point where you’re not working through these things? So, please, point out my weaknesses, tell me your processes and workings out so that we can do this together. (2) Later we’ll address the specific role of Bible study and meditation, but at this point, since I don’t specifically mention it much in the above, I do want to say that I believe the Bible to be the most significant shaper of our story as it is a witness to God’s overarching story in which we fit. I also believe that all this is done through the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit. (3) Transforming culture is God’s kingdom work in which we get to participate. In other words, while we are passionate about it, we don’t have to stress. He’s in control. (4) These beliefs influence the Bible studies I write. For example, in the study on Abraham and Sarah, we look at God’s call on, work in, and work through Abraham and Sarah. At the same time, we "storyboard" (what I termed the section that reflects on the reader’s life) our lives (God’s call on, work in, and work through us). Also, because I’m an artist (specifically musician and writer), the arts are an important influencer in how I think about, process through, and reflect God’s work in and through me, so one day a week is reserved for worshipping God through whatever artistic medium you choose. This, I think, helps some people (i.e. people like me) work through things and participate in that sector of life. Finally, while we dwell on what God has called us to, we’re doing it. Part of the commitment in these studies is your social justice project (what I call your Special World, following Campbell and Vogler’s terminology) done as a group and optimally through partnerships with your local church because this is how God works in and through us. Why stop at talking about it? Part of the learning process is in joining God’s kingdom work. By the way, these Bible studies are not written exclusively for women, but we’ll get to that later. I say this to give you an example of how your philosophy and theology about the church (i.e. ecclesiology).

As I predicted, we have yet to talk about ministry to women specifically. Some issues still to be covered in re-evaluating women’s ministry: why do we do this (this specifically in light of our belief about the purpose and function of church and of your local church)? Why do we have it? Why do we need it? Should we try to attract women to women’s ministry? What do personality differences and learning styles have to do with how and what we do? Do Bible studies and spiritual formation need to be different for different genders? What kinds of outreach ministry can women uniquely do?

I will say that these answers will be different for different cultures and sub-cultures. A healthy tension exists between the church ministering within culture (and sub-cultures) and seeking to bring cultures and sub-cultures together. When I say together, I do not mean make them the same. I mean that we can worship together, rejoice together, participate together, all the while celebrating the differences that serve to reveal different aspects of God.

I also want to point out that as we address ministry to women specifically, these answers will be influenced by your definition of feminity. I interacted with this on the three-part series I did on Becoming an Imaginative, Female Theologian Who Loves the Arts (part one, part two, and part three). 

Let me end with one last point I’ve been thinking about lately: how our culture affects this. In our transformation of culture, I don’t believe our goal should be to go back to some "Golden Era." (For the record, I don’t think a Golden Era ever existed.) One of the things that I think the church is not doing well is modeling a healthy mixed-gender leadership for those in leadership in their worlds. In the working world, women are CEOs, managers, project leaders. They have men and women answering to them. They answer to men and women. We teach men how to lead biblically, but do we teach women?

Now that I’ve brought up a potentially explosive subject, I leave you to your interactions. In a couple days from now, we’ll look at epistemology (how we learn/know things) and femininity. This will affect our thoughts on Bible study and spiritual formation. Other thoughts to discuss in the future (many, many days from now): women in leadership (addressing the issue I raised in the end) and outreach.

Oy vey. 

Women in Ministry and Ministry for Women

Did you know that this month is Women’s History Month? It’s fitting that we discuss women in ministry this month and the purpose of ministry for women.

Last week, I brought up the question, why aren’t most women in their 20s and 30s (really, early 30s, I think) connecting with women’s ministry? At the back of my mind, I’ve been wondering, should they? Or is it okay that they plug in with other ministries during this stage of their life? Will this mean that eventually women’s ministry will die out? Or is it a stage thing–women who are now in their 20s and 30s will see women’s ministry differently as they approach their later 30s? Or if it dies out, is that okay? Does that mean that needs are now being met elsewhere?

As these questions pop in my head, I return to the idea of always re-evaluating ministries in order to make sure that they are serving not just their purpose, but God’s kingdom. I think we all agree that programs and curriculum are not the end in themselves. As we together re-evaluate specifically women’s ministry, I want to look at what is the purpose of the church, how does women’s ministry fit in that purpose (both the purpose of the universal church and the purpose of the local church–I think different churches to some extent have different purposes), how does women’s ministry uniquely serve, what are the good things women’s ministry is doing, what are some empty things women’s ministry is doing, perhaps even, what women’s ministry is.

I want to be clear that I’m not saying this because I think all of women’s ministry is necessarily bad. I think it’s generally good. I’m also not bringing this subject up because I think I have all the answers. This is an issue I’m currently working through, and I thought, what better place to work through this than on my blog where I can get the input of other men and women (yes–I think it’s important to get a man’s input on this as well, just as I think women should have some input in men’s ministry). I do have some opinions (who doesn’t?), and I’ll develop those as we work through this series, but what I really want is to know what you guys have to say.

I don’t know how long this series will run. Besides purpose, we’ll look at content–at things like Bible studies, mentoring, discipleship, spiritual formation, outreach and service, and events/programs–and how the content serves the purpose.

For today–let’s get the juices flowing. I’m going to make an assumption that the purpose of the church is to unify believers so that the world knows God’s love (John 17). What I want to start discussing today, before we even get to some specifics of women’s ministry, is the function of the church. Is it the care of believers? Is it the care of the hurting or needs of the world? Is it to reach unbelievers? I know we all would say that ideally, all three. Let’s get beyond that. Let’s look at how we want to see all three accomplished. There’s one that your church (or you, if you don’t agree with your church) would see as primary. The other two, then, flow from accomplishing the primary, or there are ministries to the other two in your church, but the ministry you hear most about is…

To help you out, think of what metaphors and/or common terms/phrases you relate with most and how you imagine that metaphor/term/phrase being played out–ambassador of Christ, refuge, protector of truth, dispenser of church, the Bride of Christ, a healing balm (or hospital), a prophetic voice, community, common identity, salt of the world, light of the world, city on a hill, fortress (now I have Martin Luther’s song stuck in my head), etc. It’s important that you think through what the metaphor means to you. For example–salt has been used for many purposes–to season, to preserve, to make thirsty.

FYI: I’m getting these ideas from a class I took at Dallas Theological Seminary several years ago called "Theological Education in Intercultural Contexts." A lot of my ideas, my approach, and even the fact that I’m bringing this up at all, comes from my theology, my ideas of communication, and my belief that God has a purpose for the world, for the church, and therefore for each program/study/ministry/curriculum/project that the church undertakes.

So have at it folks, let’s look at some of those metaphors and ideas.

Oh, and I added a new supercategory to my site, "Transforming Culture," that has some of my ideas about church (notice I said some). Also, for those of you who get Glimpses, you may have noticed how I develop the metaphors for the church in the monthly devotional, "As the Church." Heck, if you even look at what I attach to my name on every email, on my description of my Speaking Ministry–"incarnating Christ to a hurting world"–you begin to get an idea of my passion. But I’ll chime in later with some specifics.

Rahab, Ruth, and Rebekah Blog

So continuing the thread from yesterday…

I have a group of women of different age, experience, and life position who are getting ready to begin blogging about women’s ministry (and women in ministry). What would you like to see us blog about? The door’s wide open. 

Speaking

Incarnating Christ’s Love to a Hurting World

 

In Your Story…

God calls all belivers to a heroic adventure. Some of us
are reluctant, some flawed, some inexperienced.
God desires to work in and through us.
Topics include studies on biblical character and how we
can respond to the call in our story.

In Beauty…

 

Created in the image of God, we have the capacity
to create. Art can be used to reflect our Creator
and our relationship to Him.
Topics look at how art and theology intersect
and how we can use art to incarnate God’s Truth.

As the Church…

As the Body of Christ, the Church represents Jesus
on earth and continues His work.
Topics include the purpose of the Church
in the world and the purpose of the Church
in your neighborhood.

See past topics.

See my prices.

For more information, email me.