With every 50 meters, I inch closer to the TV. By the time they swim the final lap, I have my nose about a foot away from the screen. My hands clasped together, I pray. "Is it bad theology to pray for them?" I ask Chris. He shrugs. At least it's live--I'm not praying retroactively (yes, I've done that too--God's above time, right?).
I imagine a whole nation of people gripping their couches, popcorn, drinks as they watch Michael's final race. (Of course that's not how it is, but that's how I imagine it.) A whole nation of people watching Jason Lezak's final strokes.
And here's what I can't help but wonder--am I willing to be Jason Lezak? He's an amazing swimmer, and that final lap (both on the 400m Melody and the 400m Freestyle) is worth bragging rights.
But who will remember Jason Lezak? In the flood of Michael Phelps recognition and gold medal counts and history-making moments, Jason Lezak gets the leftover drizzle (not to mention Aaron Piersol and Brendon Hanson). It strikes me that if Michael Phelps is the Paul of swimming, than Jason Lezak is the Barnabas. Where would Paul be without Barnabas? Where would the gospel be? And yet, who gets more attention?
This is where I am today. In art, in ministry, in marriage, in friendship, in Church, in family, am I willing to be Barnabas? Will I work as hard as Jason Lezak worked knowing that while God will also reward me, the recognition of the crowds will go elsewhere?
And this brings me back to that prayer of insignificance (why, oh, why did I have to make that my year's prayer!). God won't let me alone.
(Side note: notice how we all become experts at the Olympics? At least I do. The first couple of dives, I think they all look great. But then I begin to notice things like pinkie toes. "Oh, her beginning was great, but her legs went into the water at a slight angle. The judges will deduct for that," I say. Or "It was such a beautiful uneven bars routine except for that one time when she bent her elbows--I hope that doesn't knock her out of the gold." Or I talk about the athletes like I've known them for years. "Don't you love how relaxed and easy-going Aaron Piersol is?" It's pitiful really, but I can't help myself.)
Exactly -- I am bound and determined to remember Lezak. I'd already forgotten the other guys. oops.
It really took the team. He couldn't have done it without the team.
(yes, hubby and I are armchair judges, too)
You mean, I shouldn't be judging gymnastics. Funny, during the women's vault last night, I thought I did BETTER than those silly judges...
And I know what you mean about Jason Lezak. On the other hand, Michael Phelps will always have people swarming him because he's Michael Phelps. The people who are near Jason will be there because they love Jason. That's one of my favorite things about obscurity (when I'm not cursing it).
Don't even get me started on those gymnastic judges! Either they're paid off or they forgot to put their contacts in.
That's all I have to say.
Well, you, really. You so frequently put my own meditations up on your blog that I'm thinking of suing you for stealing my mind... except yours works better than mine, so I'd lose. But God is good to have let me find your blog just when it would mean something to me. A few years ago I'd have ignored it, or been frustrated that you're so much better than me. Now, I'm so glad for you and the way you think!
And now, once again, I say, "Amen!" God knew I was struggling with His call for me to be "just" a wife, a mother, a friend. He may have more for me one day, but right now this is what He wants me to be. And the thing is, no matter how well I do, someone else does it better! How depressed I've allowed that to make me, when it is a cause to rejoice. Thank you for reminding me even as you remind yourself. Being insignificant is pretty special, when it is in Christ's service and for His glory. And when others are significant to our eyes, why we need to be very sure to give Him all the praise and dispose of the foolish jealousy, for they are in His service also. And after all, the glory is HIS... isn't it? Oh, dear. And I thought some of it was mine. *sigh*
How amazing that God uses our small testimonies, the day to day struggles and the little lessons. How wonderful that our idiosyncrasies can bless others, or help God's truth slip past those ever-present, self-righteous guards. Thanks for letting God use you as you are.
Karen,
Thank you for your encouragement, although, really, I know there's nothing here that's "better" than how you express it.
I do struggle with jealousy--and I hate admitting that. I hate saying something that makes me look "less than." (Here I go again with appearances...). It's nice to know I'm not alone in my struggles. (I guess misery really does love company.)
I am so happy right now that you called it the men's "melody" instead of medley! Oh the wonderful scenarios playing (and singing) themselves out in my mind. It's a Broadway Swimsation! (Swimtacular?)
Tell Aaron P I said, "hey."
Oh, my goodness! That is so funny! See, that's what happens when you live in your own Broadway show (I see nothing out of the ordinary with people breaking out into song and dance...). And you know, I'm not "correcting" myself. I'm leaving it.
And yes, right now watching Phelps, Lezak, Hanson, and Piersol singing and dancing synchronized in and around the pool is cracking me up! Gotta love these Freudian slips.
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